The Shelter/List of Episodes/1-4: Chrom Marriage
'Chrom Marraige '''is the 4th episode of The Shelter season 1, and is another one written solely by Captain Moch. Sypnosis Chrom finally gets engaged with his boyfriend Robin, and their wedding is planned for the end of the week. The day before his marriage, Chrom invites his friends to have a bachelor party. After a crazy night of partying at several different bars and parties, Chrom wakes up to discover that he accidentally has married 42 different people the previous night. He sets up a task force to break up all of these marriages before the wedding ceremony that night. Transcript (opens up in Moch's dorm, with Moch hanging out with Chrom and a few other FE characters visiting the Shelter) Moch: Chrom, what's with all of these Fire Emblem dudes being here? Not that I'm complaining, exactly, but... Chrom: Well, I have some news to share and I want to tell everyone. Frederick: Well, you forcing some poor MyUnit to get married? Chrom: Well... yes and no. Moch: Oh dear. Chrom: I'm getting married to Robin! We got engaged last week. The wedding is on Friday! Frederick: But- Chrom: It's not just any MyUnit, it's THE MyUnit. And he's MY unit. And my soulmate. Everyone: D'AWW Chrom: And I'm inviting YOU ALL to my bachelor party on Thursday! Moch: HELL YEAH! BRING ON THE ALCOHAL AND STRI- Chrom: Uh... I was thinking something more simple. Moch: Oh... sure, simple. It will be the simplest bachelor party ''- 4 Days Later (on Thursday) -'' (everyone is at a crazy party getting drunk) Chrom: Well, how did this happen? Moch: I said we should go out and one thing lead to another and now we're hammered! Chrom: True. But this is fun. One last party before I get married for real. None of that "We accidentally S-supported" shit. Henry: Let's sure hope that doesn't happen! Also, Chrom, I hired you a male stripper. Male Stripper: Hey, you sexy fool. (comes super close to Chrom) Chrom: Dude, don't do that! This is how accidental S-supports HAPPEN! Moch: Hey, I'll take- Chrom: God Moch, no. I thought you were dating Shulk. Moch: Well, technically HE doesn't know- Chrom: You'd cheat on him? Moch: No, he doesn't know I'm dating him. He'll figure it out ''eventually. Male Stripper: That's how I got my first boyfriend too! Chrom: NO, no male-strippers, no S-supports, no more talk of this kind of stuff. In fact, I'm going home. I don't wanna get any more hammered and risk anything ''- The Next Morning -'' Chrom: (wakes up in trash pile in the middle of an alley) Eugh... what happened? Moch: I don't know. But I got so hammered! Frederick: (looks at Male Stripper) What are you still doing here? Male Stripper: What, you guys invited me! You said you needed a priest to marry that guy you picked up. Chrom: Wait... what? Male Stripper: And that other guy... and his friend... and his brother... and his sister... Chrom: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! Male Stripper: Well Chrom, you have a knack for S-supporting. So when you were hammered as hell last night, you pretty much S-supported everyone you met. All 42 of them. Including your friends right here. Chrom: Oh god... (pulls out some of the trash in the pile, realizes it's a marriage document of him and Moch, then finds one of him and Frederick, and many others) The night before the wedding, too! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS FUCKING HAPPENED! Moch: Um... Chrom: All of you, we're getting divorced, right now! Henry: Even me? But I love- Chrom: Oh, shut up. (cut to Moch, Frederick, the Male stripper, and the rest of his bachelor party gang walking out of a court) Chrom: So, 8 people down. 34 to go. By 5:00 P.M. tonight, when the wedding starts. Moch: You know what this calls for? Frederick: A task force? Chrom: Let's do this. ''- An Hour or Two Later -'' (Moch, Frederick, Henry, Gaius, and the stripper are lined up in front of Chrom) Chrom: Alright guys, we have a few hours to do all of these divorces and you all have to help. Number 1 rule, don't tell Robin. (hands out lists) These are the people you'll need to break up with, and their addresses I found on their Facebook profiles. Can you guys do these in 5 hours? Moch: Of course! (montage of Chrom, Frederick, Henry, Gauis, Moch and the stripper divorcing with several men and women, with their reactions ranging from confused to engraged) (the gang is shown regrouping at 4:55) Chrom: Wow, most of mine went surprisingly well. Moch: Not ours... Frederick: You realize that divorcing someone is something you should do face to face, right? Not sending out a task force? Chrom: Why? Most of my divorcees weren't even mad or disappointed. Moch: Well, ours were. BTW, Iknowyourweddingisin5minutesbutthere'sanangrymobthatfollowedyouherekthxbai Chrom: WHAT?! Robin: (walks into room) I know it's wedding tradition that the groom shouldn't see the groom before the wedding, but- Chrom: YEAH, YOU SHOULDN'T, GET OUT! Robin: Uh, what's going on? Chrom: UH... I'll explain... later. Priest: (peeks in) Sirs? The ceremony is starting. One of you should go to the asile, and- Chrom: (sweating) Alright, let's go! (whispers to Moch) Disperse the mob. NOW! (back in the churchhouse, the ceremony is starting and Robin is being walked down the aisle by Validar) Validar: I know I may be evil... and a terrible father... and terrible human in general... and tried to use you as a device to bring back the massive dragon monster thing... and- Robin: I get it. I didn't even want to invite you, I thought somebody else could have walked me down- (Robin stops when they reach the end of the aisle, and Chrom takes Robin's hand) Priest: Today, we gather here to (long wedding stuff) and if anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your- (the door bursts open, throwing Moch inside onto the floor and seconds later he is trampled by a huge hoard of people) Robin: What? Guy in mob: HOW DARE YOU S-support me, marry me, and send some other random dude to divorce me with in 24 hours! Girl in mob: I ALREADY UPDATED MY FACEBOOK STATUS TO "MARRIED" AND YOU CAN'T SIMPLY REVERSE THAT Moch: (rises from floor, dazed and trampled) I think you can- Girl in mob: SHUT UP (kicks Moch) Robin: Is this true? You ''married ''these people? Chrom: Well... yeah. We had a crazy bachelor party yesterday and let's just say, I accidentally S-supported... 42 people. Robin: And you didn't tell me? Chrom: Well, I knew tomorrow was our special day and I didn't want to ruin it for you by telling you about the crazy shit that happened to me when I was drunk and- Robin: Dude, come on! I wouldn't have been mad at you if you just told me! Then we could have used our S-support to do an OP pair up and utterly annihlate the people you accidentally married! Chrom: Ah, really? Sorry about that... also, I was thinking we just divorce these people, not kill- Robin: They tried to ruin my wedding. I ''will ''kill them. :) Chrom: Ah, how can I stop you. Preist, can we- Priest: Of course. You may now kiss the unit. (Chrom and Robin finally kiss and everyone claps, except for the angry mob) Lucina: Ah, so beautiful. Who knew I'd attend my own fathers' wedding? Heck, they're probably gonna conceive me tonight! Actually, that's really weird to think about... Guy in mob: What a complete and utter blatant disrespect to- Robin: Can we attack them now, honey? Chrom: Eh, I guess. As long as I can with you. Audience: Awww. (Chrom and Robin pair up and do a massive super OP attack against the mob) Credits Gag Chrom: So, what's the secret honeymoon you said you planned? Robin: Oh, I was thinking we go to the Smash Bros tournament! Chrom: *gasps* You got us in? Robin: Well... sorta. Chrom: What do you mean "sorta"? (cuts to Robin fighting against Villager, Shulk and Mega Man, while Chrom, Tom Nook, Dunban, Riki, and the other versions of Mega Man watch in the background) Chrom: Well... good for Robin and all but... this is kinda boring. Tom Nook: Look, a Smash Ball! (everyone starts cheering on their character to get the Smash Ball) Chrom: GET IT BABY, I WANNA WRECK THOSE ASSES! Tom Nook: Yes yes Mayor, you finally paid off those loans so I'll build a house over those dead bodies for you! (Mega Man eventually gets the Final Smash, and the other Mega Mans jump into the foreground and do the Final Smash) Chrom: Sigh... I guess I'll get my chance... another day. Viridi: Hah, no you won't you clone. Chrom: Stop TALKING IN MY HEAD AND MAKING FUN OF ME WE AREN'T EVEN AT PALUTENA'S TEMPLE ANYMORE Category:Pages by Captain Moch Category:The Shelter Category:The Shelter Episodes